Fall Apart

Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise
Now it all seems upside down
‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart
Blessed are the ones who understand
We’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You
And it all seems upside down
‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart
I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that
Has ever happened to me
My whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when
You will find me when I fall apart

Freedom from Anxiety

Anxiety can come into our souls anytime. It often happens in the middle of the night, when everyone else is quiet but your mind is not. There are ways you can mask this problem and get some sleep, but when you wake it is still there, and when you try to sleep the next night...it returns, controlling your thoughts. The only real way to get freedom from this anxiety is the peace of God. At the moment we chose to believe in Jesus we have full access to this peace, that "transcends all understanding." When we are fearful, apprehensive, worried, or terrified,that peace of God can restore us to calm, assured confidence.

Even though life is unpredictable and too often filled with fearful or stressful situations, God says that we don't have to live in anxiety. This peace is can be given to us every time with we praise God and give Him thanks. It's best (I have learned over and over) to do this the moment we sense anxiety or any stress begin to control our thoughts. Then continue to praise and thank God until we receive that peace and the anxiety leaves. His word tells us to focus on what is "excellent" - I think of this like counting my blessings. So at 1AM when I am stressed, tearful, and overcome with anxiety I focus on my most recent reminder of God's love and His perfect Will, Rozlynn Faith. I focus on the fact that I have her and that makes things much better. I focus on my sweet Reese, my husband, and my family. Then I thank God for them and for the circumstances that I went through to get where I am today, in the midst of this overwhelming anxiety. Try it and you'll experience greater peace than you have ever known. Trust the Word of our Creator and you will be able to find contentment in every circumstance, even the tough ones where you can't comprehend how you will make it through.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you...I have learned to be content whatever  the circumstances." Philippians 4:6-8, 11

When Words Don't Come

Have you ever prayed  for something with all your heart and it just felt like Heaven was silent? Man, isn't that hard to take? Or is it just me?...

I am thankful that I can trust my God, and I'm so thankful for His Word, that will not "come back empty." I know God hears my prayers and although the response is silent right now...He will respond, He will keep His promises, and when He does...it will be all for His glory, "that shall be revealed in me." This week has been a real downer! I have been spending some time in Isaiah and I am clinging to what it says in chapter 55:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts....so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:8-9, 11

I'm trusting in the fact that your thoughts Lord are greater than mine. What I think is hard and the way that I think things are happening is not Your way...thankfully! I know that you hear me Lord, your Words are going back to you and they are not going to return empty. I will continue to follow YOUR WILL and can't wait to see what YOU DESIRE from these circumstances, the purpose you have to be achieved, because I know that "this present suffering is not worth comparing to the glory that shall be revealed in me," Romans 8:18. Sometimes I feel so crushed that I don't know what to say, I just know things are not going at all like I feel they should. The way I so desire for them to be. "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:25-26

So even though I feel like the heavens are silent, "what, then, shall [I] say in response to this? If God is for [me], who can be against [me]?" Romans 8:31

I am thankful for this circumstance, this trial, as I see it because I know, "that in all things God works together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. I love him with every part of me and I am called to His purpose - I can't wait to figure out what that is...patiently I will serve Him, no matter what is not happening =)

People are Mean...

The hardest part for me about being a Christian is the whole, "love your enemies" thing. It's really hard for me when someone is mean not to me but to someone that I love...man it makes me MAD!!!!!!!!!!

I know anger is real emotion and God knows that we have it, but it is what we do with that anger that matters. This verse used to be painted on my wall at my house when I was in high school, "In your anger do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." Ephesians 4:26 I tried hard to live by this, it wasn't until "adulthood" that it began to become so real and so incredibly challenging...because I felt anger in new ways: anger as a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, or a friend. I confess this to be one of my deepest struggles - having anger deep in my heart...just festering, I don't tell anyone about it - I just let it sit until I reach a point that it starts to seep out at times where I don't mean it to happen. It is hard to let go of hurt feelings...hard to forget those times you felt hated, cursed, mistreated, not taken care of, or watched someone you love be so unhappy because of other people (most of the time other Christians).

Sadly I am having to overcome these feelings right now. Here is all I know to do...

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:27-31

God gave us His Word so that we would know the right way to live, when times are so hard that we cannot comprehend how to get out of the valley we face...we seek His Word and find the right way to overcome. That's why I love it so much, it is real it changes things and attitudes! God's Word builds you up feeds your inner soul with strength, direction, endurance, faith...you fill in the blank with whatever you are needing.

So today, right now in this valley I am in and in this hurt I feel for someone I love I am clinging to the direction of God's Word, I am going to "love my enemies, do good to those who hate me or my family, bless those who curse me, pray for those who mistreat me, my family, and someone that I love...do unto them as I wish they would treat me and those I care about the most." I will spend however long it takes praying for them for the anger and disappointment to leave my heart, and not worry about the rest. I want other's to see God and His Word alive in me. If I am "just loving those who love me, doing good to those who are good to me what credit is that to me? Even sinners do that, people who do not have the Spirit of the Living God in them do that." (Luke 6:32-34). Instead I must:
"love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:35-36

Nothing will change your heart like pure true love, and when we spend time in Scripture and desire to live the right way,we are allowing God's love for us to change us - we will begin to see just how great His love is and we will desire to allow that love to change someone else. So bring it on..."enemies*" I love you and God's love through me will change you!

*I do not have any real enemies, I just have hurt feelings. I think that is worse sometimes!

Strength Needed Now

"...Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

I have so many people on my prayer list right now that just simply need strength. Need strength for loved ones in the hospital, need strength to trust and wait, need strength to find happiness in every part of their lives (jobs included), strength to just make it through the day.

After Rozlynn went back to sleep this morning I found myself with some "me" time...I love these moments (I say moments because they are usually 47 minutes or less, the time it takes the sleep sheep to run out). I had text a friend to check on her and God reminded me of 2 Corithinas 12:9, I spent some time in the chapter and was reminded of a truth...sometimes a hard truth to handle for us mere humans.

Paul was asking God to take away the "thorn in his side" basically asking for this hard situation (ie...hurting or sick loved ones, trust, waiting, happiness, or just to make it through the day) to be removed. (It even says, "a messenger from Satan"...man isn't he, Satan, real...he delights when we feel helpless like God doesn't listen - when lose heart and faith when we don't get the answer we desire.) However, God said no...did you read that right above, God said no! Paul was asking with pure motives and in faith, but he didn't recieve the answer he was seeking...sounds familar to me, too familar actually (if you only knew...and some of you do). God responded to Paul with, "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT...MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS." (12:9)

So today I thank God for the hard things the chance be drawn closer to God and the unexpected power that will come through it. If I just TRUST.

I am reminded that my prayers are not about getting what I want from God, but finding my way to God...finding my way to the deep relationship with Him that I so desire. My prayers are about accepting God's answers even when it's not what I prayed it to be, this is why it is, "not my will but YOUR WILL be done, Father."

If you find yourself needing strength, I pray you find it and you can remember the lesson we learned from Paul...sometimes we just need to trust that "[His] grace is sufficent, [His] power is made perfect in weakness."

Many blessing to you all!

yum...

Okay so I am addicted to these little pineapple cupcakes! They are super easy and only 72 calories per cupcake - icing included...but that probably doesn't do much good when you eat six in one day :/ YIKES! I love pineapple and love things that are not too sweet, so this is the PERFECT summer dessert for me. I am going to put coconut in next time, I just didn't have any on hand today.

Preheat oven to 350

Mix these three ingredients together(no hand mixer needed):

yellow cake mix, crushed pineapple (do not drain), and  rum extract

scoop into mini cupcake pan (I use a cookie scoop perfect size) and bake for around 13 minutes - depending on your oven
While cooling mix these three ingredients together (let the cold ones sit out for a bit so they are easier to fold together, again hand mixer is not needed on these...they are that easy!) for the icing:


1/2 of each: Free Cool Whip, crushed pineapple drained, and nuefatchel cream cheese



Finished product...just heavenly if you like pineapple you will love them!



OMG they are so good!



Trancendent Peace

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Last night Rozlynn went to bed and woke up about 2:30 - literally screaming, not an "I'm hungry" scream, one of those that hurt you - when you know something is not right. This was the second night she did this, the night before was awful, we got very little sleep and last night was taking the same path. Sunday night I had tried everything I could think of to help comfort her: gave her a bath, changed her diaper, gave her a paci, gave her a bottle, gave her gas medicine, and even gave her Tylenol (she's teething already!) and nothing was working. It was after I had tried everything and was at my wits end that I prayed...I know what was I thinking, I tried to fix things first...BIG MISTAKE! The second I prayed with Rozlynn she stopped crying and I was able to comfort her and give her what she needed to rest. Why didn't I just seek God first, and let him direct my path as to how to comfort His little miracle to me??

Last night I began the night with prayer and Rozlynn went to sleep so much easier. However, she woke up screaming and I had only been asleep for about 3 hours...I got frustrated, I was tired...it was looking like I would get less sleep than the six hours I had the night/morning before. I made a bottle and took her into the living room to rock and feed her...about 30 minutes later she was throwing up, and gagging like she does sometimes. =( it's really sad!! It was then decided to pray with her, to just seek God first before I attempted to give her what she needed. We (I say we because I believe God uses those moments with her and that she does learn from them) began to pray and talk about how Jesus is the only one who can give us what we need, we prayed for His peace to surround her and give her rest and comfort...we could feel it, the "transcendent peace" that "surpasses all understanding." It was beyond incredible! Rozlynn then squeezed my shoulder and made the sweetest little sounds, she was at peace. I held her for about another hour and a half enjoying the comfort that was surrounding her at that moment.

At that moment it hit me hard -really slapped me in the face - how there are so many people that I know and around the world that would do anything to have a baby, to be up at night dealing with screams, and the lack of sleep. I was one of those people, one lucky enough to get what I desired the most. I knew she came from God alone and here I was thinking about how tired I was and trying to just deal with myself. How dare I get frustrated with the blessing that God gave me...she is a miracle and I will never forget that! God gave her to me to raise and to teach and I must seek Him first in the decisions that concern her, even the ones at 2:30 AM.

I hope that this lesson will go with me in my everyday life as well. I know to seek God and I do with "big things" but what about the little things, the times when as a mom or wife I am flat out pissed, annoyed, so upset? It seems I must learn this lesson over and over again. I pray that one day it will becoming second nature, that I will not try to do things on my own and when I fail, seek Christ...because I will fail, it's not my will or my glory but His.

Just sharing what's on my heart today.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-10

Something Heavenly #2

Almost exactly a year ago I posted this blog entry:
http://hightower-family.blogspot.com/2010/06/something-heavenly.html

After reading this post and listening to this song, Something Heavenly by Sanctus Real, I am once again in tears.

I knew God had "something heavenly" instore for us as we made the BIGGEST leap of faith we have ever taken when we left our home...April 21, 2011 at 12:45 PM we met "something heavenly", Rozlynn FAITH Hightower, and I am so thankful for our move and the HARDEST year of my life.

As I re-read my thoughts and feelings about Martin's Mill, I am once again overwhelmed by them. It is so hard to believe how many changes have taken place in the top ten things I love about that place, but yet how much they took care of me my family during a very rough 9 months. How many form schools, churches, and communities would provide for a family they way that Martin's Mill ISD, Martin's Mill Baptist Church, and Martin's Mill, Tx did for us. I had been out of work for one month and the staff of MMISD had a fundraiser for me and provided my family with and overwhelming amount of money, the Women's Ministry of Martin's Mill had a food drive and provided my family with many groceries to last us many months, and community members gave us a little something to help us through.

The most important thing was the prayer that continued to intercede for us. At Martin's Mill's graduation this year, I met a grandmother of former students and the mom of a former co-worker, she came up to meet and wanted to meet Rozlynn, her words still bring me to tear because I BELIEVE WITH EVER OUNCE OF ME THEY ARE TRUE, "I just had to meet this baby, we all prayed her here, this town and the people we know, we prayerd this angel to you." Yes you did, and I we are forever grateful. We cannot wait until we can repay to someone the compassion and "carrying of eachother's burdens" that was given to us...in the name of Christ. So, once again thank you Martin's Mill for being a Christ centered place, keep showing Christ's love - this is why you are so successful you are representing the right thing - a Powerful God!

Just wanted to share my heart. I will be back to the blogging world. Life has been crazy with a newborn and it took me about a month to recover from being so sick, I still have a few bad days but I am enjoying life and can't wait to share my new blessings with you all!

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us and for Rozlynn. We love you all!

9 year journey

Well, here we are the night before our little girl is born! We are all three so excited for this gift God is giving to us, we are so very thankful. We understand how blessed we are to not only have one miracle but to have two as of tomorrow afternoon.

We tried to get pregnant with Reese for 3 years before it happened. We had pretty much given up hope and had signed all the financial papers saying we were willing to pay lots of money for lots of treatments to help us get pregnant, we were just waiting for my cycle. It never came and come to find out we were pregnant! Reese is the sweetest most compassionate little boy around, his heart is so big and we cannot wait to see what God has planned for him.

After trying for 3 years to get pregnant and overcoming PCOS, Endometriosis, and IC including treatments and medications we got pregnant, but unfortunately it wasn't in God's plan for us to meet our baby on earth. Six months later once again after just deciding that God's will was perfect and one baby was more than we deserved, we found out we were pregnant!

This pregnancy has been more than challenging but every second of heartache and stress has been worth it and I would do it all again to bring Rozlynn Faith to our family.

9 years and two children is just amazing, we are so very blessed and thankful that God is allowing us to raise both of these miracles.

We will try to get pictures up as soon as we can so you all can see sweet little Rozlynn. Say a prayer for us tomorrow that all goes well.

Almost Done

Rozlynn's room is almost done, we just lack a shelf and the changing pad =) Here are some pictures of the almost complete room. Hopefully I can get a picture of everything before next week.

When we were painting the letters in Rozlynn's name this is what Reese made for her!

He wanted to hang it with butterflies <3

Changing Table - pad is coming!

close up of the chest

mirror - Mom painted this like 5 times before it was like she wanted, then we added the words!

Texas Hoodie and extra headbands =)

We can't wait for you, Rozlynn Faith, to get here so we can start using this room! You are one loved little girl, we can't wait to meet you and see the special things that God  has planned for you!! Love you so much, Mom, Dad, and Reese aka Bubba

Reese Turned Six

I cannot believe that Reese is six years old! He had a birhtday party at Chuck E Cheese which he LOVED!! However, for me it was so crazy - there were 5 parties happening at the same time and lots of little kids whose parents just decided to let them run wild without supervision. I think all the kids had a blast!! I will say it was a very easy party because the hostess did EVERYTHING for us: set the table, decorated, served, cleaned, and help load up the goods.

I couldn't get many pictures because my camera was out of memory...of course! It is my fault for still having Christmas pictures on it...anyway you can also check out Katie's blog for some great shots of the party!

http://theskinner-family.blogspot.com/2011/03/reese-is-6.html

On his actual Birthday he woke up to a "huge dinosaur" in the living room. I was in the bathroom and I heard, "now that's big" it was so cute! Gammy came and had lunch with him at school and brought Army cupcakes and juice for his class to celebrate at recess. I had a doctor's appointment so couldn't make it. Then after school we took him to Sonic for dinner and went to Alba to watch Maddie play Little Dribblers. We got home about 10:30 and had a little cake. Yes, that is really late for a child to load up on sugar, but it was his birthday! We had so much fun as a family that day, Reese we love you so much more!!



It was a great birthday and birthday weekend! 

Acknowledge Him

"Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all you ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

I have heard these verses all my life. However, I am beginning to see them in an entire new light. Maybe it's because my life seems to be full of uncertainty, or maybe it because the lives of so many people I love and care about seem to be uncertain. So many people I am connected to are seeking God's Plan, not their own. Let's face it, that is really hard to do. It is so easy to just say, I'm trusting...but actually practicing that is hard. At least for me anyway.

We have to trust that God's ways are always right and not try to figure things out on our own. The key to doing this is to acknowledge God in every part of our lives. Every part.

We must first be sure we acknowledge Him as our Savior, our Father, as the Spirit, and our Comforter. Most of the people I know are believers and we do acknowledge those things, that seems to be easy for us. Or easy for me to say and believe however, then we must acknowledge that He is the one, the only one, who meets our needs - not just physical but emotional too. We must look only to Him. I struggle with the emotional the most, I tend to keep everything inside and put on a fake smile like everything is wonderful, or I want to look to my husband, my mom, my sister, my family to help me. I'm not talking about big things, but little things like - I feel so fat and swollen what could be beautiful about me or it really makes me angry that I'm sitting at home alone all the time away from my friends; I want Chris or my family to give me a boost of confidence, when I should be seeking my Father for the extra love I am desiring. Man, that is so hard, but in order to TRUST and acknowledge Him in all my ways, I must allow Him to meet my needs. I must be honest with my feelings and allow my God to give me what my heart is needing. Sometimes that is done through my wonderful husband and family and sometimes it is done by just being in the presence of a Mighty God.

Once we acknowledge that He will meet our needs we must acknowledge that He is Lord of our lives meaning our relationships, jobs, finances, children, and our marriages. We have to put Him before all of those things, and seek Him in all we do with them. We have to allow Him in all of those areas if we truly desire Him to direct our paths.

All this to say,  in times like these where I find myself trusting and praying for those around me to trust I have to ask, have I/you allowed the Lord to be in all areas of our lives. If you haven't ask today, acknowledge the fact that you are not relying on Him in whatever area and change it. This is a daily occurrence for me, but I know that daily I'm forgiven and daily when I acknowledge Him in all areas, He is faithful to direct my paths.

I pray that we all can keep trusting with all our heart and acknowledging our Savior in all our ways. His paths do not fail, and I am so thankful for that truth.

He will never leave

Our Savior will never leave us nor forsake us, His word promises us this truth.

Why is it so hard for me to trust this truth? Why do I want to do things on my own? Do you ever feel like you want to run away and go back to things that you know, things that are easy, comfortable, safe? I know God knows these feelings that I am having, He knows everything about me. I just find me asking the question - why can't I trust His plan?

If I'm being honest I will admit I hate being so disconnected from everyday life. Moving to a new place and only being "involved" for 6 weeks is so hard. I hate that I'm not at my job, getting to know my co-workers. What I hate most is moving Reese from a place where he was content, he was so happy, he didn't worry.  I'm angry that I'm not at school to get to know other parents and families to find friends. I get angry every time I get sick, angry every time I stick myself or a sore forms (I can't deliver with an infection).  I pray that I can lead my family to seek the one who is always with them and promises to never leave. I know God has a plan for my family and I know that it was in His plan for us to move and I trust Him 100%. We are so blessed with Rozlynn and I know that moving was a part of what it took to bring her here to us. The staff we work with now are so kind and I enjoyed being with them for 6 weeks. I am so thankful for the support that has been given to Chris from his co-workers this year. I know God is in control and I trust Him. I also know that it's okay to get angry, becuase He already knows what we are feeling. I have found that when I am honest with my feelings and thoughts to my Savior, He comforts me. If you are keeping feelings inside I encourage you to be honest with your Father, He already knows and the honesty will only bring you closer to Him.

For now I am clinging to His promise to never leave us and clinging to the comfort that provides.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you...The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31: 6 & 8

"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" Hebrews 13:5

Thank you to a friend who sent this verses my way, she is a true blessing to me!

Proud Momma

Have I mentioned how proud I am of Reese? =) I'm pretty sure I have, but I just wanted to brag a little once again on how proud he makes me.

He just got the Principal's Pride Award for February. He even gets a sign to put in the yard. I had no idea he has gotten this award until last night and he told me that he took his picture today and got a pencil and certificate "it's all in my backpack, Mom." So proud of how hard Reese works at all he does, he takes his time on his work...that Math is a killer...and has to lose some play time at recess here and there but he finishes and does it correctly. I just hope that stays with him forever, the teacher in me loves that he is not afraid to take his time and do it correctly.

Reese, I love you so very much. You make me so proud to be your Mom everyday; not just because of how good you are in school, but because of your heart and desire to give everything your very best. You are such an awesome boy. Keep striving to do your best in everything and you will do great things. I'm so blessed God shared you with me!! Always remember He loves you more than me and is much prouder than me for the effort and heart you give to all that you do. I love you to infinite Reese Austin!!!

A Sweet Woman

"Carry each other's burdens and this way you fulfil the law of Christ" Galatians 6:2

I have shared this verse before but this week I saw it in a new light. With four consecutive trips either to Austin or back home from Austin and the end of the pay period God gave us a blessing.

I fellow teacher, who I have NEVER met in person. (We have talked over the phone, but she came in January and I have been out since October, so we have just never met face to face.) Anyway, I got a call from her on Thursday when driving home from Austin. I was completely exhausted and trying to think about what I could scramble together for dinner. Rhonda told me that she had a home cooked dinner in the middle school refrigerator waiting for me to take home! She said it came with lots of love and lots of prayer for me and my family. Wow, what an incredible blessing - she has never met me, but felt compelled to bless me and my family - to carry our burden. (I wish I was that way, it is really easy for me to help carry the burdens of those I know, love, and have a relationship with - but someone I have never met, would I do the same?) I must say the roast, potatoes, and carrots were much better than french fries I had at home.

So many people have blessed us during probably one of the hardest 6 months of my life - all of these people I am eternally grateful for and pray that they will be blessed for what they have done it has been their love and support that have got us through some dark days. However, Rhonda just blew me away - the Godly impact that gave me was overwhelming. I truly felt it was God giving me that dinner, letting me know that He would provide for us. It was just at the right time, this week has been hard - I admit that I have felt like I was not going to be able to do this anymore, that I would not make it to the end of the pregnancy. The simple meal from a very sweet women was just what I needed to be reminded that I don't have to do this alone - God is with me and with Him I will make it until April 21, 2011.

Yes, Dr. Willens let me know Friday that he is planning to deliver Rozlynn Faith on April 21 - unless something happens between now and then. I can survive the next six weeks if I keep my focus and continue to let God speak to me through the love of others. =)

My greatest desire is to repay these blessings to others one day, to share God's love through my actions like so many have done for my family.

Getting Closer

Yesterday Mom and Dad came over to help start getting Rozlynn's room put together and do a little cleaning around my crazy dirty house! Reese has been asking almost every day when Rozylnn's room and bed was going to get set up. I think today made him feel a lot better, I don't know why he is so worried that she won't have things. Now once we get her stroller and carseat he will be a happy brother.

Reese worked hard all day long, he was right beside the action the entire afternoon.

working hard with Dad and PawPaw

Finally put together!

He checked to see if it was level on all sides, top and bottom and the bottom was not so he had to fix it.

Helping Gammy with the frame we painted.

Last week this closet attacked me, literally I was looking for Reese's birth certificate and things began falling from the shelves. It was a mess after I was done searching through everything! Reese and Gammy worked hard getting it in order and making room for Rozylnn's things.

Some of our projects

She had to have this verse in  her room!

Mom and I had so much fun painting letters, painting the frame, and thank you to Tamara so much for donating that picture to our cause. If you saw the frame in its orginal state you would not believe the change.

The room is not done yet, but I feel so much better knowing that several things are finished. I have the best Mom she has helped me with many projects. We have taken apart and painted a framed piece of art-work, a mirror, painted letters, painted a chair, made a bow hanger, repainted and framed a verse, cut out of vinyl for the mirror. We still have to paint some lamps, sand and paint an end table, had coushins made for chair, Mom made a quilt, and go pick up a dresser that we had painted...I think our list of projects reached it's limit.

Now we just needed little Rozlynn Faith to get here so we can snuggle her close!

Thank you Mom so much for all you are doing for me during this time. Not only by cleaning and helping me get things ready but keeping me sane by taking me to lunch and letting me get out of the house and enjoy some company. I would really be going crazy if I didn't have you helping me so much. I would  not have survived this pregnancy, mentally if you were not there for me. I love you so much and hope to be the same Mom to Rozlynn that you are to me.

You Are More

Love this song by Tenth Avenue North! Love this video too, especially the ending. We can all identify with something written on that board, we have all made choices that we regret, but "[we] are more than the choices that [we] make, [we] are more than the sum of our past mistakes, [we] are more than the problems [we] create, [we]'ve been remade!"

Thank you Father for remaking me, I am unworthy of your saving grace.

Please Read and Please Join in Prayer

Today I am asking if you read this post to please pray for a dear family in Martin's Mill who lost their husband/father/grandfather early this morning. This family has been such a blessing to many many people over many many years and I asking for prayers in their time of need. They have done countless things for me and my family personally. I pray they will be comforted and blessed in their time of need in the same way they have provided comfort and blessings for others.

Also, please pray for my hometown, Quitman, as they face a horrible tragedy. Losing a 15 year old girl and some still injured from an accident taking place yesterday afternoon. Please also remember the teachers and teacher driving the vehicle. Being a teacher I can't even begin to comprehend the emotions they are feeling. Pray for the families of those involved. Pray for the students. Please pray for the entire community.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26

I am thankful for the Spirit to intercede in times like these when we are unsure of words or the exact needs of those we love.

Thank you for taking a moment to pray, to ask the Spirit to intercede for you on behalf of this amazing family in Martin' s Mill and the community of Quitman.

Waffle Week

Since I am at home with nothing to do but sit and "rest" I watch a lot of TV, and I love watching Rachael Ray. This past was waffle week on Rachael Ray - finding  new ways to use your waffle iron. She did brownies, pizzas, sandwiches, all sorts of yummy things. You can find it on her website:

 http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/

When Chris and I were in Italy the food and wine were one of our favorite things! Okay, we probably didn't have a favorite thing because ever bit of Italy was amazing!! However, we savored and devoured many yummy things; the best places to eat were little pizza/sandwich shops on the street. Chris loved the calzones. Here is a photo of one from a restaurant in Rome...it just can't be duplicated!

Rachael Ray did a spin on the calzone in the waffle iron, the wazone, and it looked so good. Now, I did not have the ingredients on hand that she had, but I did have some left over meat, sauce, and cheese from homemade pizzas and a can of biscuits.

This is what ended up in my ever growing belly and it only took about 7 minutes in the waffle iron. It was pretty darn good!

Next time I will use pizza dough, ricotta cheese, basil, tomato, and mozzarella cheese but this was all I had on hand.

Experimenting with the waffle iron is really fun and just might become a new hobby of this pregnant lady!

My Little Man

I love my little man, Reese, so much! I asked him if he would be my date for Valentine's Day tonight (since Chris is at a game) and he was so happy that I asked. He has been wanting to have a picnic outside so bad, but the weather has not been cooperative. I asked if he wanted to do one tonight...he was THRILLED. We went to Wal-Mart for him to pick out our dinner. He chose, Bagel Bites because cooking anything else takes way too long, a pink cake that said love because he loved me, some heart shaped plates and napkins because it's Valentine's Day.

He found a red blanket and put it outside while we cooked the Bagel Bites in the microwave. Reese set the blanket with the plates, napkins, and forks while I brought out the cake. We used the "special black fancy" glasses to hold our Gatorade. Once it was all set we took some pictures of each other then ate our food. We talked about everything from when he is married one day to the shape of the clouds.

Then He wanted to "cling the glasses" but only soft because we didn't need to break them.

After the clinging we got into the cake. It was so good! Reese was trying so hard to be fancy while eating and drinking, "like you do on a date" of course!

Then he looked up at me, started laughing and went face first for the rest of the cake, left on the cake plate!

Man did he make me laugh, we laughed for about 5 minutes after that one!

I am so blessed to have him in my life. He has such a great heart and knows just how to make you feel loved.

"don't hurt my Jesus"

I have shared many stories about my favorite boy, Reese, with you but this one is probably one of my favorites. This particular story happened during the Christmas break but it has really stuck with me and seems to come to mind at least once a day. I spent sometime yesterday thinking about it and what I needed to learn from it...so here it is.

One morning Reese and I were playing around, wrestling and what not and I for some reason found myself with my elbow on his heart. The sweet innocent laughter came to a halt and Reese said, "Mommy stop you are hurting my Jesus!" He had a very serious look on his face and was being quite stern with me. I questioned, "your Jesus?" Reese answered (with a tone of "duh" mom) "Yes Mom, Jesus lives in my heart and that will hurt Him." I then scooped my little man up and gave him a big giant squeeze hug (these are our favorite - in fact Reese has been known to squeeze me so hard that he might toot - and you can never give just one) and many kisses. Of course, I quickly apologized for hurting his Jesus.

He again said this same thing one night at my Mom's house, aka Gammy. Katie's dear friend Amber was over visiting and Reese and Nathan had gone into WILD mode, they were putting on a show for, as Nathan called her, Timber. They were dancing, running, acting like animals, and wrestling. One of their favorite things is for Nathan to wrap Reese up in a big bear hug and tackle him to the ground. Nathan was doing this and landed on Reese's heart. "Nathan, stop it you are hurting my Jesus!" Everyone giggled at Reese's cute remark once I explained what he was meaning. Reese however did not find this funny!



A little picture of what these wrestling matches look like! This is from May 2010

Now Reese took it very literal that Jesus lived in his heart. He wants to protect Him, keep things from hurting Him. He has even got really upset at school because he told a classmate that Jesus lived in his heart and he said He didn't live in his heart. I've tried to explain that physically Jesus is not in his heart, but this a concept he hasn't exactly grasp yet. He knows he prays to Jesus and Jesus has helped him several times, and he knows he has a brother/sister who is with Jesus, but it is hard for him to understand how Jesus lives in his heart and does all these other things.
What if I had Reese's attitude, "don't do that, it will hurt my Jesus!" I am not meaning this in the literal way but figuratively. Why can't I go through the day trying to "protect" and not harm my Jesus? How many things do I say, do, or most often THINK that are hurting my Jesus? I love to see the faith of my child, it is so innocent and so pure. Reese makes loving Jesus and not hurting Him so simple. Why do I make it so hard? I'm going to try to be conscience of what I am doing and work hard not to, "hurt my Jesus!" Thank you Reese for teaching me how to better love my Jesus.

Reese, I love you more than you will ever know! I am so blessed and thankful that your Jesus shared you with me and I get the privilege of raising you. I pray that when the day comes you pick Jesus and I have done everything I could to help you get there. You are such an amazing boy with such a big heart. God has big plans for you Reese Austin Hightower!

Reese and I on Mother's Day 2010

STRESS

I have been really stressed out the past week and today seems to be more overwhelming that I want to let it be. I love Josh Wilson's music, his song "Before the Morning" has got me through many many rough days. This song, "Savior, Please" is one that really touches me when I am heavy with the weight of anxiety.

Please say a little prayer for me, my family. I'm not going to going into the details but I am trying really hard, "to be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make [my] requests known to [my] Father." (Philippians 4:6) I'm trying hard to believe that once I do that, "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard [my] heart and mind in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7)

I am thankful for a Savior that will keep saving me when I am so unworthy. I am thankful that I have scripture to help me remember what matters and that God doesn't leave, even when times are hard.

I'm feeling better already. It's amazing what a little prayer, God's word, your family, and some music can do to your lift your spirits. Not to mention letting it all out instead of trying to keep it in and handle it myself.

Count your blessings today and thank your Savior for continuing to save you!

Coach Hightower

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." James 5:16

I love my husband. I love him for the man that he is, and the man that he is becoming. I have seen my husband grow so much this year, mostly through stressful situations. I have seen him pray for his boys, open God's word to search for advise, and do the best he can to lead them in a positive manner with unconditional love and encouragement. Now, I will admit it does make me a little jealous at times...I selfishly want him to not have practice on Saturdays or at 6:00 on Monday mornings, not watch film on nights he is home, etc. However those thoughts soon fade when I remember what is he is doing and what he is called to do. I have truly seen James 5:16 in Chris this year, and I know one day he will see something too.

Many people don't really understand the HOURS a coach spends working towards leading his/her team. I understand because I have two of them in my family. I can tell you there is not one night at our house where Chris is not working on basketball: reading blogs, books, things from other coaches, or scripture to find encouragement for his boys, watching film to make scouting reports or watching film to grade his own players, talking to more veteran experienced coaches to seek their wisdom, he is constantly doing whatever he can to improve his coaching in order to benefit his team.
Chris has seen many trials his first year as a head coach, but what he doesn't see are the things that I see and more importantly the things is Father sees.

As you can see from the picture his theme for the team this year was Colossians 3:23 and this is something he has tried to focus on not just on the basketball court but with their families, school work, and friends. I have seen those boys grow this year from the summer to now. I see them working harder, not quitting, persevering because they are giving it their heart.

I fall more in love with Chris every time I hear him encourage one of the boys, every time I see him discipline one of his boys, every time I see the Bible open, every time I find him seeking Godly advise for a situation, every time I see the smile on his face when he is so proud of something they have done. It makes me smile because I know that just as he is smiling because he feels proud of those boys, his Father is smiling because He feels proud of Chris.

I just wanted to take a moment to share publicly how proud I am of my husband and what he is doing. I keep reminding him of Galatians 6:9,

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Basketball is about winning, but in the bigger picture it's not about winning a game it is about winning for the Kingdom. Yes he may have 12 losses but that is nothing in comparison to the harvest that will be reaped in Heaven. All the circumstances Chris has faced this year have only made him stronger in his faith and the way he has chosen to handle each of them (very few people see or hear what happens behind the scenes of a situation) proves that he is planting seeds for the Kingdom.

Maybe you are going through circumstance after circumstance and can't find the good - remember Galatians 6:9 and do not give up. The victory will happen one day.

Beautiful

"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." Psalm 45:11

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song from Mercy Me - it plays all the time I know, but it is just so good. I'm not sure if it is the pregnancy hormones or the big stomach I'm sporting these days that make me turn it up everytime I hear it.

As I was listening for the third time last night on the way home from a Super Bowl party I kept thinking about Rozlynn. I pray that she knows she is beautiful because she is a child of the King and no other reason. I then began to think about a long list of former students and current students (it it counts that I am still listed as the teacher) that need to be reminded of this simple fact: they are beautiful. My heart just breaks for these young girls who are searching in so many ways to feel beautiful. I think a lot of this is our fault, the more "mature" ladies in their lives. What sort of message am I sending these beautiful young ladies about what makes us beautfiul...or am I sending the wrong message about body image? Yes, we are to be healthy and I am 100% about promoting that, but I think I can stop the negative talk about myself and spend more time talking about how being healthy on the outside is a reflection of being healthy on the inside. It starts with realizing who you are and who you were meant to be, beautiful. If I'm being honest I need to remember that fact as well, as do many other ladies who I am lucky enough to call my friends.

Anyway, I'm not sure if that is even clear - my mind seems to be mush today. (Not having the best of days.) I do know that I pray that Rozlynn will learn what makes her beautiful and that I do my part to lead her in the right direction, to not focus on what other's think she needs to be. I ask you today to pray for many teenage girls, being in the school with junior high and high school students I can tell you they are searching. They need to know they are beautiful and what that truly means, the world and media send them the wrong message daily. These girls are beautiful, thank you to Mercy Me for this song.

Wishing you all a fabulous week full of many blessings. It will be a busy one for the Hightower family we have 3 away games, man I'm already tired. Hopefully I will start to feel better ASAP, I have to head to North Hopkins tonight for game 1 of the week.

(Have I mentioned how proud I am of my husband and what he has been doing this year? That's another post coming soon)

Doctor Knows Best...

Well, I'm back on the pump again. BOO! I was so loving taking a shower and sleeping without being connected and getting tangled in tubes,  but I'll survive. Don't take your showers and sleep for granted people!

I was a little sad about going back on the pump, but I trust my doctor, he seems to know me pretty well. A plus is that I can do so much more with the pump like get out of bed or off the couch and clean the kitchen or house a little without feeling so sick.

My doctor and his nurse say that I am really bad about not telling them or anyone how bad things really are, and I sound like everything is fine then they evaluate me and find things to be a little different. My sister, Katie, and Chris think they are exactly right, and I must admit maybe this is just a little bit accurate. I am just one of those people who doesn't want to sound like "a baby" I can just "tough it out" I mean lots of people are feeling a lot worse than me - I should be doing something for them not feeling sorry for myself. However, I do have a pretty high pain tolerance and I think that is some of it as well. They reminded me that it took me 2 years to tell them about my everyday pain - that turned out to be  Endometriosis and IC. Point taken.

So for now, I am listening to the doctor...he has proven to know what is best for me for many years, 9 to be exact. I trust him and know that he cares not only about me but my family. He always asks me about Mom and Katie, and he asks Katie about me. Maybe that just means he sees us too much...LOL - either way he does care about me. And, as his nurse reminded me yesterday, "you are his patient and he does not want you suffering at all."

The pump really isn't that big of deal, I'm just whining about the showers and sleep oh and the bruises, but those are SMALL sacrifices for a BIG MIRACLE! I would do it all a again if I was given the choice to get a healthy Rozlynn here safe and sound.

Most importantly, I trust my Savior! I know He is with me and His will, not mine shall be done.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

Hope you all have a blessed day! Stacy =)

Quick Prayer Request

I have so many people on my prayer list this week. Hoping that some of you can join in praying for many people who are sick, waiting for doctors, in need of rest, have children who are sick, needing strength, or just really needing God to direct their lives.

Thank you for praying!

Good News

I have been without the pump for 48 hours now! AND I have only vomited 2 times!!!

I can't do as much as I could with the pump on, but I'm hoping this is a good sign and hopefully I will not have to sport the pump at the wedding in March =)

Thanks for your prayers and please continue to pray for us. Not allowed to work until post baby but hopefully things are getting better.

Lauren and Clay

"I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God's mysterious plan, which is Christ himself." Colossians 2:2

I am so happy for my brother-in-law, Clay, and his bride-to-be, Lauren. They are getting married on March 12, 2011. We are so excited to add Lauren to our family, she is a woman of God and I know she will live out Proverbs 31:10-12.

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."

I thank God for the marriage of these two incredible people. It is so evident they were meant to be and it has been amazing to see God at work in their pasts and now in their future together as one.

"This is my beloved and this is my friend" Song of Solomon 5:16



Please join in praying for Lauren and Clay as they start their journey together as a couple.

I love weddings and have been so excited by many people in my life getting engaged. Taylor and Jay and Christa and Brandon will both be getting married this summer =)

I would love to hear from all of you - what advise can you give to newly-weds or to people who have been married for almost ten years (like Chris and I)? What keeps your marriage alive?

I Lied...

How many times have you heard "God will not give you more than you can bear" or what I should say is, how many times have I said that to someone in need of comfort, I can think a of a few. I have really been thinking about that one statement and how often I hear it or unfortunately have said it. Through my experience (which is not much I realize) I have come to the conclusion that...

IT IS A LIE

I have been wondering why this is said, where does it come from...here is the scripture I think is the heart of this saying.

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." I Corinthians 10:13 

However, the more I looked and researched this verse I saw the word TEMPTATION - God doesn't TEMPT us, and He does not allow Satan to TEMPT us more than we can bear. But, this verse does not say anything about circumstance, stress, worry, pain, or grief - it is talking about being tempted. 

temp·ta·tion –noun

1. the act of tempting; enticement or allurement.

2. something that tempts, entices, or allures.

3. the fact or state of being tempted, esp. to evil.

4. an instance of this.

5. the temptation of Christ by Satan. Matt. 4

Temptation has nothing to do with the trials we face as Christians. Actually I have seen this "saying" to be the exact opposite - you can count on God given you more than YOU can bear or that YOU can handle, because being a Child of the King is about losing control, so as long as YOU try to handle a situation it will not get better. Sometimes we are so far deep in our stress, pain, sorrow that they ONLY place we can turn is to God. In that moment we stop trying to handle the circumstance and allow God to step in we receive some peace, some comfort, some relief. I even found this in scripture:

"We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety." 2 Cor 1:8-11

I am so sorry to anyone I ever told that "God won't give your more than you can handle" because yes He will! Instead I should have encourage you to "cast your cares upon Him" and to let God take control, not give you comfort in thinking that YOU could handle the situation. Because, the honest truth is YOU can't, but God can, and He will if you allow it to happen.

If you are going through a trial, don't take comfort thinking God won't give you more than you can handle...it's a lie. I know I have found myself many times thinking, okay I can handle this, and I fail at doing so, then I think well, if God won't give me more than I can handle, what's wrong with me...and it snowballs from there. Take the pressure off yourself...know from the beginning YOU can't handle it, but trust that God can, and be thankful that He is bringing you closer to Him.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1: 2-4

Now, I am not saying I go out praying for trials, but I do pray to be closer to God and sometimes I have so much standing in the way of Him that it takes a trial for me to move everything out of the way and focus on my Savior. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." I Peter 5: 6-7

The same goes for those of you who are trying to do good, but you cannot see the reward. Take comfort knowing you don't have to be in control, you don't have to be the one to handle the situation.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Instead, keep fighting the good fight, hold on to God's word, and trust His promises.

All this said to say that I pledge to never lie to my friends who are hurting, I promise to encourage them to seek God for He alone can handle the circumstance.