Trancendent Peace

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Last night Rozlynn went to bed and woke up about 2:30 - literally screaming, not an "I'm hungry" scream, one of those that hurt you - when you know something is not right. This was the second night she did this, the night before was awful, we got very little sleep and last night was taking the same path. Sunday night I had tried everything I could think of to help comfort her: gave her a bath, changed her diaper, gave her a paci, gave her a bottle, gave her gas medicine, and even gave her Tylenol (she's teething already!) and nothing was working. It was after I had tried everything and was at my wits end that I prayed...I know what was I thinking, I tried to fix things first...BIG MISTAKE! The second I prayed with Rozlynn she stopped crying and I was able to comfort her and give her what she needed to rest. Why didn't I just seek God first, and let him direct my path as to how to comfort His little miracle to me??

Last night I began the night with prayer and Rozlynn went to sleep so much easier. However, she woke up screaming and I had only been asleep for about 3 hours...I got frustrated, I was tired...it was looking like I would get less sleep than the six hours I had the night/morning before. I made a bottle and took her into the living room to rock and feed her...about 30 minutes later she was throwing up, and gagging like she does sometimes. =( it's really sad!! It was then decided to pray with her, to just seek God first before I attempted to give her what she needed. We (I say we because I believe God uses those moments with her and that she does learn from them) began to pray and talk about how Jesus is the only one who can give us what we need, we prayed for His peace to surround her and give her rest and comfort...we could feel it, the "transcendent peace" that "surpasses all understanding." It was beyond incredible! Rozlynn then squeezed my shoulder and made the sweetest little sounds, she was at peace. I held her for about another hour and a half enjoying the comfort that was surrounding her at that moment.

At that moment it hit me hard -really slapped me in the face - how there are so many people that I know and around the world that would do anything to have a baby, to be up at night dealing with screams, and the lack of sleep. I was one of those people, one lucky enough to get what I desired the most. I knew she came from God alone and here I was thinking about how tired I was and trying to just deal with myself. How dare I get frustrated with the blessing that God gave me...she is a miracle and I will never forget that! God gave her to me to raise and to teach and I must seek Him first in the decisions that concern her, even the ones at 2:30 AM.

I hope that this lesson will go with me in my everyday life as well. I know to seek God and I do with "big things" but what about the little things, the times when as a mom or wife I am flat out pissed, annoyed, so upset? It seems I must learn this lesson over and over again. I pray that one day it will becoming second nature, that I will not try to do things on my own and when I fail, seek Christ...because I will fail, it's not my will or my glory but His.

Just sharing what's on my heart today.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-10