My Husband - God's Providence

Last night at church we were discussing Rebekah and Isaac. Mrs. Gaar was teaching and she brought up God's Providence. She is a firm believer in His providence and shared stories in her life where His providence was evident.

This of course got me to thinking, and I to am a firm believer in the pfovidence of God. One of my most favorite verses is Romans 8:28, "we know that in all things God works together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." God has a timing or everything and His providence allows for His will to be done in our lives.

After listening to and pondering the stories that Mrs. Gaar shared with us, I began to consider where I have seen God's providence in my life. The very first thing that came to mind was my husband, Chris.

Most of you know that Chris and I have been together for a while, since January 24, 1998. What you probably do not know is my story. The story of my life before I became friends with my love. I was saved when I was little, I believe I was 9 years old. It happened at a revival. I am fortunate to remember the details, the sermon, talking to my parents in the Blazer on the way home, and going back to the church to talk with Bro. Richey. I say I am fortunate because I know a lot of people who don't remember all the details, my husband is one of them...he has just believed for a very long time. Needless to say, I have been a Christian for almost 20 years of my life now. However when I was in 6th grade I had my first relationship. I was "going with" a boy that was 2 years older than me, and defintely more experienced of things in the world than I was. To make a long story short, I was forced to do somethings I did not want to do, I made some choices that I could never take back, and then began to feel trapped and that I was stuck in the life I had chosen for myself. I was a horribly mean person. I had no love for people, and I had stopped trying to pursue my love for Christ. I began to isolate my family and my God, because I knew that if I was them the guilt I had would consume me...I ran! Nothing good comes from running from God. (We all know where that got Jonah) I treated people that loved me the most, that loved me no matter what choice I had made the worst. I took all of my guilt and anger out on them. For that I am deeply sorry, I just pray they have forgiven me.

Katie, I'm sorry I wasn't the big sister I should have been. I should have guided you, nurtured you in love and scripture, I should have been a light for you to follow, I should have waked in a way that made you believe and want to follow Chirst, I faild you - I wish I would have been there for you, and I hate that I said and did things to hurt you - that you still remember and left a scar.

Mom and Dad - I hate that I dishonored you. You taught me the way of the Lord and it was my choice - nothing you did that made me stray. I hate that I shut you out and did not come to you with what was happening and allow you to help me find a way out of the darkness. I know you would have. I know you prayed for me even though I was shutting you out, and those prayers did not go unheard and they were answered. Your faithfulness was rewarded - God didn't give up on me, and you did not give up on me either. For that I thank you, and pray I can honor you now - I can make up for the time I did not.

My life was spiraling out of control from my 7th grade year to my sophomore year of high school. The summer between my sophomore and junior year I began to hang out with a new set of friends. Chris was one of them. These friends went to church, they cared about their "heavenly" future and they were not afraid to let others know. Chris became my best friend. I could talk to him about anything, and did talk to him about everything. We had a lot in common -we both loved sports, music, God, and other people. I was dating off and on - as was Chris - and we werer both there for each other, giving advise and sharing relationship stories. I knew that Chris loved me no matter what I had done - he understood that God wants us to love others because He does, not to worry about their past mistakes. Chris never once made me feel ashamed or less of Christian than he was because of the choices I had made. It could have been easy, the worst thing he had ever done was say some "cuss" words. Chris began to show me that my family loved me and through his friendship refound my FAITH and my love for getting closer to God as well as letting my family back in my life. Granted I was a teenager and we all do silly "teenager" things to our loved ones, but for the most part my life was heading back the way it was suppose to be.

What Chris didn't know was that one night before I became his friend, I finally gave everything to God, every choice I had made, every hurtful thing I had said, thought, and done. I let it all out one night in my bedroom and for the first time in my life really felt and understood the prescense of God. He was in my room that night, and promised to guard  my heart - to keep it only for him, until the man had picked for me came into my life. I knew that when I met that man, my heart would begin to open for someone other than my Savior. I completely trusted Him and was one of the best feelings I have ever experienced. As my friendship with Chris grew, so did my heart. God was allowing me to let someone in - he was letting me know that a real man of God doesn't hurt, they love you, they protect you, and they are okay with everything you have done. I loved Chris as a friend, but I knew that God was giving me my husband early, because He loved me so much, He was hurting for me, and He knew I needed it.

I finally told Chris that I like him "as more than a friend" and yes he turned me down at first! However, he came around and we started "going out." God's providence stepped in and sent my husband to me when I needed saving. Yes, God allowed me to go through some horrible things, but I learned about his soveriegnty I learned that "all things work together of the good of those who love him." I used to wonder why these the things that happened to me...did. Then I have moments where God allows me to use a small part of what I have gone through to minister to students that I teach.

I thank God for everything in my life, I am okay with the choices that I made and the places that they took me. I wish I would not have hurt the ones I love in the process, but I know it was all a part of God's plan for Stacy Lee Hightower. He has blessed me way more than I am worth.

What do you think about God's Providence? I would love to hear your stories. If you are in a time of bad choices and feel like you are spiraling out of control - take cofort in Romans 8:28 and God' Providence. Know and claim that God doesn't give up on you...He has a plan for you that involves your bad choices - they will bring Him glory if you let them. Trust me, I understand and I can tell you that allowing them to become blessings is an amazing experience of faith.

"We know that in ALL things God works together of the good of those who love Him, and are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28